Saturday, March 9, 2013

Good for the Soul

My "feel good" tank is running on E. This weekend is the best timing ever. I'm going to meet with these girls. We've managed to continue our weekends together since that first one. We meet up every few months. Spending time with them is good for the soul. It's so nice to be with people who know your history and love you despite the worst things about yourself. It's strange because we're all in very different places in our lives, but we seem to have found each other again at the exact right time. I love them so much and I can't wait to see them.

We're also lucky enough to be having lunch with our high school religion teacher. I don't even know how to explain her. She's most likely one of the most wise people I've ever met.

Thursday, March 7, 2013


Well in case you couldn't infer from the death cramps or all the BFN posts- beta was negative. And somehow it just really sucked to hear it from my nurse. She is really awesome and for some reason all news IVF related sounds the most official when it comes from her. So yeah. Negative.

And as soon as it was over- a new one started. I started BCP for IVF #2 last night. The RE Dr. K thinks that the birth control may have over suppressed me (I agree). He still wants me on birth control, but not as much. So I'm going to do two weeks on, one week off, two weeks on. And then start stims. Antagonist Protocol again. We'll see what happens when we go for our WTF appointment next week. I have lots of questions to ask about my poor response and how we're going to try to fix that. So this whole plan is subject to change.

One big change is that our lips are sealed this time around. No one in real life will know we're doing this. NO ONE. It was so so sucky to have to tell people we failed. So this time we'll keep this under our hats.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Death Cramps

I got my period yesterday. Despite taking progesterone, I got my period anyway. And HOLY SHIZ- it's the worst period I've ever had. Cramps that almost made me leave work and have me eyeing the Vicoden I got after egg retrieval. I talked to the nurse today and she told me to keep taking the meds- Estrodil and Endometrin. Um, probs not. Nothing except a tampon is going in my vag right now. She said "You could still be pregnant." NO I CAN'T. Just let this whole damn thing end. Ugh. And I have to go tomorrow morning to get blood drawn for me to prove to her that I'm not pregnant. I get it- they need some kind of official negative. Ok, fine.

I guess the good part about already getting my period is that hopefully we can move right into #2. Am I nuts for doing that? I can't tell yet. I mean the crazy train is moving- why bother stopping it?