Meet Ruth

She is my favorite. Kind of creepy, but I love her.

A few friends and I have decided she is magic. And then we named her Ruth Esmeralda.

So Ruthie- I need some magic today.

Thankful Thursday

I've been ignoring Thankful Thursday and I really need to stop doing that.

I had dinner tonight with the girl from high school that I bumped into at the RE's office. She emailed me and asked if I would meet her. She told me her IF story. She's had two separate 2nd trimester miscarriages, a surgery to remove scar tissue from a semi-botched D&C, and is now going through IF treatments. She has told no one except her parents and her husband about her losses. She has not a single person to talk to about all of this. She hides from pregnant people and has trouble being around even her baby nephew.

And as I sat and listened to her- I realized that I can't even imagine what she's gone through. It's terrible. Really, really terrible. And then I just felt like such a whiner. Sometimes I need to shut up and quit whining. Everyone is fighting their own battle. Some have it easier than me and some don't. I need to be thankful for the fact that even though my cycle may be delayed- We have a real shot at having children. And I'm lucky to have that shot. I'm thankful for my chance.

I really hope she has her chance too.

Meltdown v2.0

For real. The IF related melt downs have *got* to stop.

My OB's nurse calls and says she won't write me a script for Synthroid. She wants me to go see an endocrinologist. And she wants me to go on birth control until my thyroid is regulated. Um, hi- remember the part about me telling you I was about to start IVF?? *throat punch*

So now I have an appointment tomorrow (THANK GOD- getting in early is the only silver lining to all this hot mess) and then we'll go to the RE at 3:30. So mad at myself for all this.

I quit.

The blog challenge, that is. Too much blogging. Yuck.

But I'm back. No pictures of my pets, or not to tell you what stresses me out (Um, not hard to figure out what this is...) or any other BS like that.

Just an update.

1. Got JC's results back. We kind of have Super Sperm. 2.4 million swimmers. Clearly a HUGE improvement, but still considered very low count. But the good news is that she said of what is there- that there was a very high motility rates so even though the count is low- the sperm that are there are mostly healthy. So all in all- good news.

2. My STUPID thyroid. Grrr. I'm so mad at myself about this. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism back in May. I was put on Synthroid and then my doctor mysteriously disappeared. WTF, right? My OB was monitoring it for a while and then I just kind of stopped paying attention to it. FAIL, Kathy. SUPER FAIL. So my CD3 blood work showed that it was in the high 4's. And now- 6.3. WTF?!?! It's never ever been that high. I spent the afternoon chasing down lab results and playing phone tag with my OB and IVF nurse. So I'm hoping that by tomorrow I'll be medicated and on my way to better levels.

So now that I'm done worrying about JC's results...I've moved on to worrying about if my thyroid levels will cause us to have to wait even more. I.hate.waiting. I JUST want to move forward with all of this.

My Glass

I'm desperately trying to be Glass Half Full Girl. I really am.

I had a bit of a melt down last night and I told JC that I'm trying really hard to be Glass Half Full. His response: "I think someone tipped over your glass."

Time to try to refill it.

Day 25: Some iPod thing...

Can you tell I'm getting a little sick of the Blog Challenge? 5 days left.

My iPod is dead, so no update about what kind of embarrassing music is on it. I'm having a bit of a rough night in IF land. And I'll just leave it at that.