Back to Work

Today I'm having massive anxiety attacks about going back to work on Tuesday. I checked my work email and there's already nasty emails from my manager about things we need to "discuss" upon my return. I don't have it in me anymore.

I have the worst fatigue ever. Not just being tired- like pure exhaustion. The kind like when you get the flu and you feel like you've been hit by a truck- that kind. Like tired to the core. That happens around 2pm every day. Not really sure how that will pan out at work.

The closer I get to going back to work, the worse the anxiety gets. I wish I could just quit.

Next Steps

Awesome Endo Nurse Cyndi called today. I have appointments on Monday with Super Surgeon and Super Endo. And Nuclear Medicine.

::sigh::

Not a great sign that I'm going to Nuc Med this early. Monday will be a long day. JC can't go with me so my mom is coming. I'm already frustrated with that. I wish he could go with me.

Scar Anxiety

My mom's best friend wants to come take me to lunch tomorrow. It would actually be really nice to get out of the house for a little while. I'm already in a panic about what to wear. In my head- I think people will be staring at me. Maybe that's crazy, maybe it's not- whatever. I'm sure the scar will get better over time. But right now, it's still pretty gross.

So I bought myself this today:

I got the scarf suggestion from a friend and now I can't wait till this little sucker arrives. Even if it just helps me feel better, then it will be the best scarf ever.

Warning: Poo Talk Inside

No one really tells you about how narcotics = no poo-ing. They should tell you that! Straining to make a giant post surgical poo is not fun. If I have to have surgery again there is a serious need for a stool softener in my life.

Tingles

So here is your anatomy lesson of the day. When they took out my thyroid gland, my parathyroid glands were most likely disturbed or damaged. The parathyroid glands are responsible for absorption of calcium. When your calcium levels drop, you start to tingle. Like your hands are falling asleep, except all the time. And it happens in my cheeks too. Strange, right? It's SUPER annoying. So I'm pumping myself full of calcium supplements (3 pills 4 times a day) to ward off the tingles. They are like horse pills, though. So combined with the sore throat- not great. But I hate the tingles.

My Scar

2 Days Post Op. Not as bad as I thought. It's actually lower than I expected it to be so when I wear a t-shirt, it's covered up. So that part is good.

Surgery- The real scoop.

I'm 2 days post-op today. I'm finally feeling like a real person again. I can't lie- the recovery has been a lot harder than I expected it to be. I guess all I have to compare this to is gastric bypass and this is much harder than gastric bypass.

So first a bit of an update from the medical side. Surgery went as expected. I was in surgery about 4 hours- longer than expected. They ended up taking out some of the lymph nodes around my thyroid that were pretty enlarged so things took a little longer than normal. Although the surgeon has opinions based on the way things look- nothing will be final until the pathology comes back sometime next week. But from what she says- her opinion is that I'm most likely headed in for another surgery to remove the nodes on the side of my neck and I will most likely need to have radiation iodine treatment. I'm not quite sure of the order of operations yet or when this will all occur. Most likely in about 6 weeks or so. (Pathology pending, of course) The recovery from this surgery has been a bit harder than I anticipated, so I'm not looking forward to the prospects of another one, but we'll just take one thing at a time.

But while I'm at it...I have to tell you about my hospital room. Cause it was oddly bizzare/awesome. I was wheeled into this room, opened my eyes- and thought I was at the Hilton. We paid for a private room, but this was more than I expected. It was like a suite.

It was a little odd, cause it was very hotel-ish- but actually turned out to be worth every penny.