Tuesday, March 12, 2013

WTF Appointment

We met with the RE today to talk about next steps. He officially diagnosed me with Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR). Even though my FSH levels were normal (5.6) and my AFC was normal (12), my AMH levels were low- 1.0. So that combined with my absolutely horrid response to the max dose of stims- I am lucky enough to fall into the DOR category. It's a tough diagnosis. It's just making things that much more difficult. But let's be for serious- Did I expect anything less than complicated and expensive? Um, no.

So since we already know how I respond on the Antagonist protocol- (shitty), the RE wants to use that same drug protocol and front load me with stims. Max out the dose from the beginning to hopefully recruit more follicles at the beginning of the cycle. J and I talked about it and if I'm not showing a good response by 8 or 9 days into stims- I think we'll elect to cancel the cycle. Insurance considers it to be a full cycle if you get to retrieval and being that we only have two left. So I'd really rather not waste a cycle if I'm not responding.

They also said that J had barely enough sperm to fertilize the four eggs we got, so unfortunately we have to have the urologist as a back up again.

All in all, it was all pretty depressing news. I'm left feeling a bit hopeless, honestly. I mean we'll try again, but I guess I just have pretty low expectations.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Back to the Diet

I had a great weekend. Really- every weekend with these girls just kind of helps me fill up the feel good tank and reset myself to a good place. It's so great. I am so lucky and so happy to have them in my life.

We did take lots of pictures and when I look at them- I'm not super happy with what I see. I can't lie- I don't like the way I look. I clearly feel far better about myself than I did 25 pounds ago, but I realized that I still have quite the long way to go. So I'm back on the diet wagon. Back to eating well and back to exercising. LOTS of exercising. I'm thankful that I didn't gain any weight through IVF, so I won't have to be stressed out about that, but I'm back on birth control and so I really need to get things in check.

I joined Diet Bet with some of my friends. It's a challenge to drop 4% of your body weight in 28 days. Eeep!  That seems really hard, but a good goal to go after. That would put me right before starting stims again and I would be a happy camper.