What sucks worse than Infertility?

Cancer, that's what.

I went to the endo today. I was told that the nodules on my thyroid are "suspicious" and that I need to have a biopsy. My chances of having thyroid cancer are 10-15%.

My thyroid biopsy is scheduled for March 15th. I was told I would get the results there at the appointment.

My TSH levels are in the right place- 3.07. My Synthroid dose was increased so that number will continue to drop. That means if the biopsy comes back negative- we can move forward with IVF. If not- well then I have cancer and need to deal with that before attempting to go through an IVF cycle.

I can't even believe I just typed that. I might have cancer.

1 year deep

We've officially been trying to have a baby for one whole year.

::le sigh::

I was so naive in the beginning. You just have a lot of sex and then you have babies and everything is great. And here we are- one year later. No babies. Nothing is great. Like a stupid NOOB I bought my niece and nephew little shirts that say "I'm getting a new cousin" on them and thought it would be such a cute little way to tell JC's family. And now the shirts won't even fit them anymore.

I'm just ready to be done with this. The trying, and thinking about trying, and making decisions about trying...I'm done.

Please let me just be able to move forward.

I hate the Endocrinologist.

So clearly, I've been stalking. I'm not good at waiting. I've accepted this about myself. So I decided that there was no way on earth that I was going to just sit around and wait until Friday to get the thyroid results back. I was going to stalk the endocrinologist's office.

I started stalking yesterday. They told me they didn't have the lab results back yet. Ok, fine.

And then today they told me that they can't release my results prior to my appointment with the doctor. Um, I'm sorry- what? You can't give me MY OWN blood work results?!?

And then the endocrinologist was dead to me.

Acupuncture- Take 2

I never really talked about the WHOLE acupuncture experience here. And I must say- I'm kind of a doubter now.

I told you about the being very relaxed part- and then the runny nose and no sleeping parts.

But the two things combined- runny nose and no sleep lead to me being sick for two days. And also me being a bit of a hater about acupuncture. A co-worker found that Dr. Google says that the first few appointments can really mess with your sleep cycles. Um, hi- would have been helpful to know *before* the appointment. But again- who knows if any of that had anything to do with the acupuncture or if I was legit just getting sick.

So I'm trying again. Going with mind open. We'll see!

When is it acceptable

To stalk the endo's office for my blood work results? I had the blood drawn on Friday. So maybe Wednesday??

I know it's only two more days after that to wait, but that could mean two days of sanity gained. And lately- every day of sanity gained is a big win.

Yes...maybe Wednesday.