Facebook blows.

Once I posted about the day that I ran into the girl from high school in my RE's office. Today Facebook told me that she had a baby girl. :::le sigh:::

I shouldn't care, but lately I feel like puking. I hate feeling jealous of other people. I'd like to be satisfied with what I've been given in life. Infertility sucks.

Holy Shiz it's Tuesday already?

I can barely keep up. Here we go.

1. Three weeks from tomorrow, we are leaving for South Carolina. Seriously. Can't.Happen.Soon.Enough. For realsies.

2. The approaching holidays are bumming me out in a serious way. Another stupid Christmas with no kids. If we could skip to January, it would really work out best for me. MMMmmmkay?

3. I got to see my niece and nephew last weekend and I love them. I melt when I see them. Except for the part when I spend the WHOLE time giving my sister a HUGE side eye for her parenting choices. I know, I know- when I have my own, I'll see what it's like. Whatever. My 18 month old nephew ate a block of Styrofoam while she sat on the couch. I can't deal.

4. Spending my whole life at work is not helping me deal with anything. I should know that by now.

5. I bailed on birth control. Stupid? Maybe. But let's be real- no sperm = no baby. So whatevs.

Oh and then you would have to have sex too. There's that. Humph.

6. J's birthday is in 13 days. Guess who has NO clue what to get him? That's right- THIS girl.

7. I just realized that all my things are super negative. I'm having a good hair day today. There's my one good thing. Ha!

8. I HAVE to get my ass on the elliptical machine before it gets any bigger!! Yikes!

9. The only TV show that I like watching- Top Chef- (random, right??) is starting a new season tonight. Whoop Whoop!!

10. Our anniversary is coming up in two weeks. We decided to get ourselves a joint present and get a new piece of furniture. The 2nd Anniversary gift is wood, after all!

Controlling the Birth

Or not?

So I had radiation treatment in July. And all the doctors told me NO BABIES for one year. My OB told me to go back on birth control. In my head, I thought- for what? I mean essentially no sperm = no babies anyway, right? Well my theory was that with my shitty luck- I would be the one to get pregnant like a minute after glowing from the radiation and then be terrified that I did something horrible to my child. So I did what I was told and I went back on birth control. And I hate it.

So now I think I've decided to just peace out on the birth control. I HATE it. And while I know that's not the best reason- It's starting to push me in that direction. What I really need to do is some research on radiation iodine and pregnancy in the pretty freakin slim chance that I do end up knocked up. I think my endocrinologist would HATE me if that happened, but I don't think it will anyway. So maybe some research and THEN a decision.