A year is a long time when you're trying to make a baby. You live your life by your menstrual cycle and the thought of waiting 12 whole cycles is painful. You'd think I'd be over it by now. You'd think that I would be glad to be living cancer free (well cancer free-ish?) with my healthy husband, enjoying our time together before starting our family.
But I can't seem to focus on anything good at the moment. I know there are plenty of people dealing with things that make my life look like a picnic. I know that we'll be ok. It's just hard to see the good in all this.
It's totally understandable that you feel this way. Right now your life is put on hold and it's totally up to some drug manufacturer for when you'll be able to have kids. It's not fair. Maybe once the ball gets rolling on your iodine radiation treatment then you'll feel like you're getting somewhere instead of just stuck.
ReplyDeleteEven though our situations are different, I totally understand where you are coming from.
Agreed with the lovely lissasue. Being on hold and feeling controlled by someone else is a total suck-fest. Feeling like you have no control over your own life is horrible. Again, totally different circumstances for us, but I feel ya. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteLove ya Kathy and hate you are feeling this way. If I could make a time clock jump to next year I would for you! ((((HUGE HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteBig fat thumbs up to lissasue's comment. The waiting for this treatment is beyond ridiculous. Wish there was something I could do to help this treatment come and go, so you can focus on what's coming. <3 you
ReplyDeleteKathy, I think any of us who have had to put a hold on treatment for whatever reason can feel ya! Waiting is the worst part...but I keep telling myself - it's teaching us patience which will come in handy once we are moms!
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