Tomorrow is September 7th. Tomorrow will be the day that we transfer our embryo. Tomorrow will be our first real shot at having a baby. And that alone is is pretty significant. I'm not delusional. I know that we still have a long road ahead with my little embryo that could. But just to make it to transfer tomorrow is in itself, great progress.
Tomorrow also has other significance. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the day that I lost my father. Tomorrow marks 18 years that I have been without my father. Now that I'm getting ready to try to make my husband a father, I miss him more than ever. He would have been such an amazing grandfather. My sister's son, who shares his name, would have learned how to play golf already. And it would have been great to watch.
Usually September 7th is a sad day for me, even 18 years later. I remember the day of my Dad's accident all day long and just hope that it ends quickly. I speak with my mom and I can hear the sadness and loss in her voice. But this year, I'm hoping to turn the tides. I'm hoping that we can change September 7th into a better day with better memories.
So Dad- if you're listening- Help me make you a grandchild tomorrow, would ya? I love you and I miss you every day.
Super big hugs. Hoping tomorrow goes well and that you find some peace on your dad's angelversary. And thank you for being real and saying this shit still hurts many years later. <3
ReplyDelete(((Hugs))) Thinking of you today and praying that transfer goes well. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteBig E&I hugs. Praying for you, your doctors, and everyone involved in your transfer today.
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