About a year ago I made THIS post. And here I am another year in and still in the same place. Nothing to show for it. My level of anxiety about the future of our family (or lack there of???) is on the rise. I'm terrified of IVF and what will happen if it doesn't work. I'm terrified of all the decisions we'll have to make. I'm afraid of having testing done after what they found the last time. It's all so overwhelming. And even though we're months away from actually starting- the time will go quickly and then I'll have to face it. I'll have to face the possibility of things not going well.
I never thought I would have gone through all of this. You know when you go up the big hill on a roller coaster and you can hear that click click click all the way up the hill? I hate that part. And it seems like it takes so long to get up that hill for such a short ride. That is what this feels like- the hill is HUGE and the ride to the top is so long. It's been a whole year of click click click all the way up to the top. What happens when I get to the top? Will I like the ride? Will it make me sick? And then how does it end?
Too many questions. So much unknown. It's terrifying. But I have no choice, right?