People keep asking me how I'm doing. My answer- Just ok. That's about as good as it gets right now. Just ok. This week has really sucked and I'm in the middle of a week long pity party.
In my head, I know things will be alright. I know I won't die from thyroid cancer. But in my heart- I feel like the universe had royally fucked me over one time too many. One bad thing, I can understand. But really- why do I get what feels like *NOTHING* but bad things in my life? Infertility is so hard to deal with. I really had just come to terms with having to go through IVF and all of the really difficult issues that come along with that. One week before going on birth control and I find out I have cancer. CANCER. WTF? Seriously. My life is sucking right now.
SO what do you do when your life is sucking? You cry. A lot. During the day, I'm ok. I guess I'm just distracted by work. But at night- I'm a hot mess. My poor husband and I have been up late every night cause I can't hold my shit together. I've had this post saved for a while now. I've even thought about deleting it. But I decided to post it because I decided that I'm ALLOWED to not have my shit together for a little while. It won't be for the rest of eternity.
So whatever. I'm still just ok, but a little better than before.