Eight is my new favorite number.

I haven't posted much about this IVF cycle. Well haven't posted anything about it. I feel like I talked SO much about the last cycle that it made it so consuming. Then having it fail, learning of my DOR diagnosis, and   having to tell EVERYONE that we talked with about it that it didn't work made me go into the closet with this one. My interwebz friends know what's going on as well as a very few select and wonderful people in real life. And that was enough for me this go around. I just didn't want to update everyone every single day and talk about it non stop. I think it would have made me batty.

So here's my update all in one post! We maxed out on stims from day 1. And lemme tell ya, that's a lot of drugs. LOTS. Thank goodness for insurance cause I probably blew through $8,000 in drugs this cycle. Yikes! Things started out slowly- but started improving relative to last cycle. My e2 levels were rising better, my follicle counts were higher, my attitude was better. We triggered Tuesday and had retrieval today.

8 eggs! Holy Shit! 8! I was hoping for anything over 4, but I was so relieved when the nurse told me 8. I'm in quite a bit more pain today than last time, but I'm taking my vicoden and rolling with it. I'm going to go into work tomorrow and just see how I feel. I should get the fert report tomorrow as well. At my last monitoring appointment on Tuesday they were all really close in size so I'm hoping that will lead to high numbers of mature eggs. J was also scheduled for a surgical extraction of sperm as a back up this morning and based on the SA from yesterday and the fact that we have frozen sperm as a back up- it was cancelled and we were told it wasn't necessary. So far- all good news. We're planning for a 3 day transfer on Sunday unless we hear otherwise.

Cross everything. Everything you have. I'm dangerously hopeful.

Long Overdue Update

I've been in for monitoring every day since Thursday. There are only really 4 follicles and they are growing super slow. My e2 is still rising, but still very slow. After having a total break down with the nurse on Saturday- I talked to my nurse on Monday and told her I wanted to speak to the RE. So Tuesday J and I went into another office and the RE did my ultrasound. He told me he thinks I have DOR (duh!) but he encouraged us to move forward with the cycle. He said he thinks we'll get 5-6 eggs (hopefully) and that we still have a chance at success. So we decided to move forward. Based on this morning's ultrasound, I will most likely trigger tomorrow for a Saturday retrieval.

If all of this wasn't craptastic enough- I realized last Friday that I was running out of meds. I called the pharmacy which I didn't know was located in Boston and already shut down because of the snow. I had to go to MD and pay $1500 out of pocket for drugs. I called Monday to get a refill of Gonal F and Menopur and to order my trigger shot. They ordered them to be delivered today. When I picked up the box- all that was in it was the trigger shot. So now I'm left with not enough Menopur to make it through tonight. I really have been holding it together through all this and now I can't stop crying. What if this is the thing that just throws this whole in the shitter? I just want ONE thing to work out. I don't need all of them, but just one would be great.

I talked to the nurse on call at the RE and she called the on call doc. They assured me that I'll be fine, but everything else has gone wrong, so now of course I'm sure this isn't helping. I'll know tomorrow what time we'll trigger and if we are definitely set for retrieval on Saturday. 

Shooting up is STRESSFUL.

Phew. First night is over.

The injections- easy. No pain, tiny needles, didn't sting or burn. Easy.

The mixing and drawing up- STRESSFUL. By the time I was done, I was sweating! This is NOT something I want to mess up. When we went to injection class, I remember thinking that this won't be so bad. And then tonight I sat down to actually do this and I was like wait a sec- what needles go with what? And HOW THE EFF DO I DO THIS?!? And then I started to panic.

But in the end- I think that I did ok. And now I hope that my little follicles are in there growing away. And I hope I don't pass out over all the worrying I'll do about messing this stuff up between now and monitoring on Tuesday.

Look What I Got!

Ok so just ignore all the other crapola on the table, but LOOK WHAT I GOT!!! Drugs! Needles! More Drugs! Is this the part where it gets real? ha ha I guess there is no turning back now!

Remember my little tiny stash that I used for Natural Cycle? No? Here it is. Makes this big box look like a crap ton of drugs. It also made me realize that I have just about zero recollection about how to mix the drugs and which needles go with which thing. I guess I'll figure that part out?? I hope??

Gah! We're really doing this! This is crazy pants. Just total crazy pants.

In other news, J went to provide a sample today that we hope to freeze as a back up. I hate waiting for SA results. It's the worst. I'm hopeful that I will hear something tomorrow. He's been on Clomid since September so I am so hoping that it will have helped.

Tomorrow is baseline and stims should start Saturday!

I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

I got a call from the pharmacy today to pay for my meds over the phone. I've been secretly nervous about this cause I have NO clue what the cost to me would be. I know that we ordered about $6,000 in medication.

The lady says that the total for all the medication is $115.00. I just about cried. I was expecting thousands of dollars. Instantly I was so thankful for this insurance we've been given. It really did change everything. I remember the stress I felt and the pressure of being 100% Out of Pocket. I am so lucky.

I hope that I have lots of left overs and I hope they will help someone else that needs them.

The Irony of Having a Baby

I'm trying to have a baby and tonight I took these:

This is my very first time ever taking birth control pills. I hope they don't make me a crazy cakes. Ha! But the good news of all of this is that we are going to be able to cycle before the holiday! Woot! I got my period last Thursday so we are going to have plenty of time to work things out around our vacation. I'm waiting to get my schedule, but it looks like I will start stims right after Thanksgiving!!

Drugs are here!

Here is my tiny drug stash! Compared to the giant pile-o-drugs with traditional IVF, this looks like nothin.

I go back tomorrow for more dildo cam. Hopefully we are close to trigger.