SKjfsjwioefsdkjclkJSLKDFJiejf!!!!!!

I was going to update yesterday to tell everyone in Blog-Land that I was starting birth control AGAIN, but for realzies this time. We were all set to cycle in early January. And before I could even write the post- it was already changed.

The financial lady called me and said they were having problems getting insurance authorization and that in order to move forward and schedule the cycle, we would have to sign something agreeing to pay out of pocket if they couldn't work it out. They warned us that in the past, people have been billed, and then had to submit for payment on their own. And all of that sounds like not anything we want to deal with. So we've decided once again to wait. I'm a waiting expert.

This all feels fake. Like we're just going to keep talking about doing it, but we won't realllly try. I have such low expectations now. Sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and just quit, but I know I'll regret not trying.

Holiday Blues

I haven't been blogging so much. I just have no real news lately. I'm just dieting and working. I'm technically under the BMI limit for IVF, so I've got that down and my full intention is to keep dropping lbs until January rolls around.

I can't get Christmasy. My decorations are up. My tree is bright. I haven't bought a thing. I have no desire to shop. I hate this time of year. Everyone making cards with family pictures, putting up their Elf on a Shelf, talking about Santa. And for the third year in a row, I wonder if this will be our last year without a baby. It's only the 6th and I'm already ready for it to be next year. BLAH. Just let it end quickly.

More Progress

Just chugging along. No news is good news, for now. I really need to step up my exercise efforts. I feel like I've got a handle on the food now that I'm a few weeks in. I think I really need to get down another 10-15lbs to feel like I'm really in the safe zone. We leave to go on vacation on Saturday- a week in the Bahamas. Yessssssssss. I can't wait!

Today we celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. I'm so lucky to have J as my husband. Despite everything we've been through, I can't imagine one day without him and I hope year number 4 is our best yet. 

Progress

So far, so good. 

And an update. J and I decided to move our IVF cycle until after the new year. The waiting sucks, but I'm kind of used to it now and I just want to be 100% sure that I can focus on the weight loss for a little while. It would really suck to go all out and STILL not make the cut off. So we'll wait until January and spend the next few weeks exercising and eating food that's good for me. 

Shit just got Real.

Soooooooo this is pretty embarrassing. More like reeeeeeaaaaallllly embarrassing. In 2007 I had gastric bypass. I lost 110lbs. It changed my life. It was amazing.

Today- my nurse called me to get my weight because Le Baby Factory has a BMI limit. And I'm above it. ::hangs head in total shame:: So in order to start stims- I have to drop 17lbs by the end of November. I'm not entirely sure that I can accomplish that, but all I can do is try.

Got my calendar!

October 7th- Start Birth Control Pills
October 31st- Stop Birth Control Pills

November 5th- Start Birth Control Pills. Again.
November 17th- VACATION!! Hence all the birth control. We gotta work around our already planned Thanksgiving get away to the Bahamas.
November 24th- Home from the Bahama Mamas
November 28th- Stop BCP's
December 1st- Suppression check and hopefully start STIMS! Ow Ow!!

I'm ready to get all shot up. Bring on the needles.

100!

100 FOLLOWERS?!? Whaaaaaaaaaat? That's pretty cool. My blog is 100% self serving, but I am happy to have other people read it. Even if it helps just one single person just one time. I love going back and following myself through all of this. I really appreciate those who comment and follow. I love my followers. <3 p="p">

I've done this before, but OUT YOURSELF. Leave me a note. Tell me how you found me. Tell me what we have in common. Tell me what you liked to read about. And keep reading. Thanks. For realz.