Needles

I went to acupuncture today. I have to say- it's the most relaxed I've been in months. I really enjoyed it. Because I have rheumatoid arthritis and it is very much triggered by stress- the acupuncturist suggests that I combine the acupuncture with massage. Um, ok- if you insist! So I got about 13 needles- one in each wrist, 2 in my right ear, and the rest in my back. I could hardly feel them at all. He also showed me some stretching exercises that he says will help with stress relief. All in all- a good visit. I'll go back on Thursday.

I came home bragging to JC about relaxed I was. We got in bed. And there I lay- totally unable to fall asleep. I tossed and turned for hours and here I am blogging at 4:16am. So much for being relaxed? I noticed that as soon as I left the appointment- I had horrible post nasal drip. It's making my throat scratchy. Please don't let me get sick right now. I don't have time to be sick right now. And I'm pretty sure I'll need a nap later.

Distracted Much?

I paid my homeowners association dues twice. And they are $540. Yikes. Guess I'll have to clear up that mess tomorrow. My brain is mush. It's filled with IVF success rates and sperm count numbers.

Everything is trucking along. I'm taking Synthroid and just waiting for my follow up with the Endocrinologist on March 11th. (Holy Crap- it's MARCH?!?!) JC has a follow up with SuperUro that afternoon as well. If that man even suggests for one second that we wait any longer- I will throat punch him.

Lyrics

Looooong ago I posted this about a Pat McGee song that I loved. And I loved the first part. I just went to see him in concert again last Friday and fell in love with the last half of the song again. It's been on repeat for days.

What are you so afraid of?
Are you trying to face the truth
Or just finding out what you're made of?

So you tell yourself anything to get you through
And you say you need a change
Maybe it's time
Maybe it's time

You been trying to let yourself forget
The baggage in your mind
Maybe it's time

Maybe it's time
To let go of your regrets
Everything'll be fine...

More Drama

Stupid Thyroid.

I went to get a thyroid sonogram at the request of my new endocrinologist. I used to work in a radiology office when I was in college. I know that in a radiology office- they never get the doctor unless it's bad news. So the tech did the scan and said to me "Ok- I'm going to go get the doctor."
And then I was in a panic.

So turns out that I have 2 nodules on my thyroid. Of course I immediately consulted Dr. Google. And everything I'm reading says that I shouldn't panic and that 98% of these are totally not an issue and no big deal. (PS- When has Dr. Google ever given out good news?!?) And then I get a cryptic message from the nurse that says "We can't start the process" until I have my lab work completed. WTF does that mean??

One sleepless night and a call to the endo's nurse later- she tells me that I'm fine and they were just reminding me to get my labs done. Whaaaaaaaaat?? If you say so?

And now- more waiting.
Follow up is 3/11. Need my stupid tyroid to behave and be in the 3's!

Big Step

We have 100% secured our financing for IVF. I won't get into how we got it, but we have the money to pay for shared risk and our first round of meds.

A HUGE weight lifted off our shoulders. And a huge blessing.

1 or 2?

How many embryos do you transfer? What do you consider when you make this decision?

I used to think- just follow the direction of the RE. He'll decide. And the more I think about it, the more things I find will factor into this decision. So here is what I'm considering so far...

1. The guidance and opinion of my RE. Clearly- this is important. He's the one with all the experience here. He will be able to help us based on the quality of my eggs, and then our embryos to decide how many to transfer. This will be a bit of a game day decision based on Fertilization Rates.

2. We're 100% Out of Pocket. So that means this may be our only shot at this. Our one chance at not only having one child, but really our only chance at having more than one. So do we put 2 back just so we have an increased chance of having more than one child? We were told that about 1/3 of couples will have embryos to freeze after a fresh cycle. Do we just cross our fingers and hope for frosties??

3. Twins are scary. I don't mean twins are scary on the outside (which I'm sure they are...) but twin pregnancy's are scary. They are high risk and can be complicated. I also have questions about this because I had gastric bypass. Can I nutritionally support a twin pregnancy?

4. Money. We will never have enough money. 1 or 2 kids aside- We'll never have enough. But it is something to consider. Can we afford twins and all that comes with that??

So there is a lot to consider- I'm positive that there will be other factors involved. More decisions to make.

Decisions, Decisions...

I'm sitting here tonight looking through a package from my RE. Consent forms for IVF.

First of all- there are about a billion. Scary consent forms. Not just like "Please let us bill your insurance" consent forms. Like "If you die, what should we do with your frozen kids" consent forms. And then "If ONE of you dies, what should we do with your frozen kids". And the questions just keep going.

I'm having a WTF moment. How did we end up here? I'm discussing with my husband what would happen to our frozen embryos if we both die. What?