This is so shameful. Cause that's not even all of them. I've been peeing on lots-o-sticks. Lots. But my lines are getting darker and they appear faster. And for now- I'll take that as a good sign. Beta is like a billion trillion years away. Sike- it's on Tuesday, but it feels like it will never come. It's also next to impossible to not to tell every.single.person. Worst Best Secret of LIFE.
I've mixed meds, done like a bazillion shots, but taking a pregnancy test- a total mystery to me. Ugh. I haven't done this for serious in a long time. I acted like SUCH a NOOB today. I woke up, POAS, saw that the test was stark white and pitched it. An hour later- I saw this. See that SUPER faint line? My internet friends saw it too. And I have NO FREAKIN CLUE WHEN IT ARRIVED?!?! UGGGHHH! How could I do this to myself???
So now I wait. I wait to pee tomorrow. I went out and bought First Response tests today.
I usually hate John Mayer. Ok, well I don't hate him, but he's so annoying. I heard this song and it reminded me of J. It sounds like something he would say to me when I found out someone else was pregnant, or when IVF #1 failed. He's the best. My J- not John Mayer, that is. Mayer's just ok.
My favorite lyrics:
You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then, circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good.
Fun's Carry On
I'm really lucky to have just about the best little group of interwebz friends EV-ER. 75 women who have stuck by me through all kinds of bullshit. They are pretty amazing. My friend Kati (you can find her blog here) made a little tribute video for our 75 and this song was in it. It's just about the best song for a sunny day with all your windows down and singing at the top of your lungs. Wanna see the video? It's super mega awesome. Click HERE.
Introducing Mary Lou Reton (on the left) and Reggie Boop (on the right).
We transferred these beauties today- Mary Lou is a highly graded expanded blast (a gold medal winner, clearly) and Reggie Boop is just a hair behind Mary Lou. Transfer went perfectly and both my RE and the doc that did the transfer said we should be very optimistic. Beta is scheduled for May 14th. I'll never make it until then. I'll b\pee on all the sticks long before then.
All 8 were mature. Seven fertilized. SEVEN! As of yesterday- they were all 4 cells and growing normally. We were pushed to a 5 day transfer on Tuesday. HELLO RELIEF! So much better than last cycle.
I haven't posted much about this IVF cycle. Well haven't posted anything about it. I feel like I talked SO much about the last cycle that it made it so consuming. Then having it fail, learning of my DOR diagnosis, and having to tell EVERYONE that we talked with about it that it didn't work made me go into the closet with this one. My interwebz friends know what's going on as well as a very few select and wonderful people in real life. And that was enough for me this go around. I just didn't want to update everyone every single day and talk about it non stop. I think it would have made me batty.
So here's my update all in one post! We maxed out on stims from day 1. And lemme tell ya, that's a lot of drugs. LOTS. Thank goodness for insurance cause I probably blew through $8,000 in drugs this cycle. Yikes! Things started out slowly- but started improving relative to last cycle. My e2 levels were rising better, my follicle counts were higher, my attitude was better. We triggered Tuesday and had retrieval today.
8 eggs! Holy Shit! 8! I was hoping for anything over 4, but I was so relieved when the nurse told me 8. I'm in quite a bit more pain today than last time, but I'm taking my vicoden and rolling with it. I'm going to go into work tomorrow and just see how I feel. I should get the fert report tomorrow as well. At my last monitoring appointment on Tuesday they were all really close in size so I'm hoping that will lead to high numbers of mature eggs. J was also scheduled for a surgical extraction of sperm as a back up this morning and based on the SA from yesterday and the fact that we have frozen sperm as a back up- it was cancelled and we were told it wasn't necessary. So far- all good news. We're planning for a 3 day transfer on Sunday unless we hear otherwise.
Cross everything. Everything you have. I'm dangerously hopeful.
