:::SIGH:::

That was me finally feeling like I have room to breathe. No appointments scheduled and JC is on the drugs. Now I can just sit back and enjoy my husband for a while without any pressure or fear. And that feels great.

Sike.

New Superman/Urologist is still my hero! So he called JC this morning to tell him that the numbers from his blood work *ARE* what he expected them to be and he should start taking the drugs ASAP and repeat blood work in 4 weeks. YEAH YEAH YEAH!

So this is good news. The best part is that hopefully JC will feel better. My hope is back.

Groundhog Day

Cycle Day 1. Bleh. Terrible.

I don't know if I should be happy that now we can get started on testing for IVF or if I should be sad because it's another failed cycle. I'm a little of both, I think.

And to top off the day- I came home from grocery shopping with JC and found my cat under my car. My stays-inside-all-the-time cat. JC let him out when he was going in and out today. He's lucky that he was only under the car. There would have been serious words. Don't mess with a lady on Cycle Day 1.

Retail Therapy

After my latest wave of bad news in baby-making land, I did some super awesome shoe shopping today and it make me happy. I love fall fashion and buying new boots is my favorite.

I got two pairs, but these are the ones I love and can't wait to wear.

Can I keep this up?

I've been waiting (impatiently, of course) to get the results of JC's blood work back from the new Hero/Urologist. I left his office last week feeling hopeful that we had at least found an explanation for the MFI and potential treatment for JC. I was hopeful that he could start taking these drugs and that regardless of having to wait for however long- that he would start feeling better. I left that office with hope.

JC's blood work shows that he's normal. Other than the Low T, everything else is normal. So Hero/Urologist theory = FAIL. Hope = FAIL.

How do I keep this up? I mean holy shiz- how many times can this happen? Get hope, get crushed. I'm ready to be done with this.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful that JC made it out of his endoscopy unscathed this morning. As they wheeled him away from me, I realized that I have no idea how I would survive without him. So THANKFULLY all is well in the world.

I've been MIA on the blog recently...a work project has taken over my life. Hopefully things will return to status quo shortly.

Proud

JC is going back to school. Tomorrow is his first day of college. It's going to suck (for me too, quite possibly). He's already throwing the word "we" around QUITE a bit. But either way- I'm really proud of him for doing it.